Reflections

Last night I put on my party dress and had the most
glorious evening with some of the dearest
and most precious women in my life, and while
not every one of those souls that are that meaningful to me
were present it was certainly a loving representation of
all that I hold dear.
While I basked in the laughter and beauty of these
friendships I was keenly aware of the guilt I felt
and not being a more consistent better friend.
I have discovered that as I grow older that I am not
the greatest multi tasker that I once was and it used to be that I could
juggle so much more than I can now. It's just enough to get through a
work day and keep up with my own domestic responsibilities on the homefront.
It's certainly no excuse but there are not enough hours in the day
to accomplish all that I need which includes the much needed one
on one time with the most wonderful friends on the planet. And I say
that with the most sincerest of hearts. I can't say that my declaration
in this next year of my life will be perfect in that direction but the longing in my
heart to do so is stronger than the option of not. 
There has been a vision in my heart for about, well  lets just say for about a really long
time and  feel that this is the year to start bringing it to life.
I stumbled across a picture of a group of women sitting around a table
on the beach eating dinner, the setting sun basking them all in the most
beautiful light, their heads thrown back in laughter. Bottles of wine and
baskets of crusty french bread and deep green salads adorned the wooden table along
with garden cut flowers and candles everywhere. I was so struck by the longing
in my heart at that time for a group of women that I could share life with like that and
it brought me to tears. Somehow along the way I had isolated myself
from friends both old and the potential new and had put my head down and
not looked up. I have sadly discovered this is a big flaw of mine.


I cut that picture out and still have it tucked in a "dream" folder. At that time I began to pray
for that family of women that were mixed in age, life lessons and filled with the wisdom 
and encouragement that those bring. And HE did. So last night I was painfully reminded
that as in all gifts God so lovingly gives you can loose the heart of gratitude quite easily for the things
you prayed for and received. You can take for granted the blessings of friendship
and time, and can become quite deceived into thinking "later". 
I am kinda over that.
Thank you to you sweet friends who have loved me in spite of my
head down tendencies and I can only say
"the best is yet to come"
xo
love with a capitol "L"

~j~